Surrender

"Instead of trying harder, surrender more."

Quit Playing God

Someone wrote the following on an email loop.  I copy it here with her permission:

A 12-step CD I've been listening to about Step 3 points out that anxiety comes from trying to run the universe. It's true, to my experience. The speaker also points out that 12-step programs are NOT self-help programs but programs of self-abandonment and service. OA doesn't say "manage your life better." It says step AWAY from your life, please. Give up the food. Seek God's help and direction. Abandon your self-determined objective -- only God really truly knows your needs -- and help His kids, and let's just SEE what happens to your life.

Change

It is wise to keep in mind that no success or failure is necessarily final.  -Unknown

I keep thinking I'm going to "get there" in my spiritual growth, but there is always more to be revealed.  And that's okay.  Each day I move closer and closer to Him and discovering His will for me.

Peace

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  Not as the world gives do I give it to you.  Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.  John 14:27

I have been troubled and afraid lately.  I have journaled, gone to meetings, attended Mass, called my sponsor and friends, completed 10th steps, had a written food plan, daily 'to do' lists, read inspiring literature...why am I still afraid, and overeating?

Be still and know that I am God.   Psalm 46:10

I have been so busy trying to fix things myself and frantically using all the tools I could think of to make things better...EXCEPT be still...sit with God...quiet my mind and be with God...pray whiule just being in the present moment...meditate. 

I will find no peace or serenity until I do these things.

Gratitude...Step 10

Dear Lord, I come to you as humble as I know how. I confess my sins, those known and unknown. Lord you know I am not perfect and I fall short everyday of my life, but I want to take time out to say thank you for your mercy. Thank you for my family, my friends, a roof over my head and a warm home, food on my table, and everything I have. Amen!!!

Happy Valentines Day

Self-acceptance leads to the ability to accept and love others without conditions or expectations.  Thought for the day from OA For Today daily reader.

Love and Listening

Love is above all, the gift of oneself.   Jean Anouilh

from For Today, February 12
In order to give the gift of myself, I need to see how I have been avoiding it.  There are two ways of doing this.  One is to feel that I am worth nothing, that no one would want me.  The other is to make it clear that you ought to recognize how wise I am and follow my advice.  Both are protective shells; neither is the best I can give.  Giving of myself means giving quality time - listning to another without thinking of what I will say next; listening without giving advice; listening with energy and care; listenng so intently as to forget myself.  It is in that instant that I give myself to another.

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Morning Reading and meditation

I spent about an hour this morning reading spiritual and recovery literature, writing in my journal, and generally trying to immerse myself in the recovery program, which is spiritual in nature, although it sure helps with my overeating and compulsive eating.

I tried to meditate, but I found I had filled my head so full of stuff I couldn't concentrate, or let go of all the thoughts.  Result:  7 minutes of meditation.  The intent was there.  I'll try again this afternoon or evening.

Patience

"Patience gains all things" according to St. Theresa of Avila.  I must remember that when I don't see the pounds falling off, but rather slowly slipping away.  When I am impatient with the rate of my weight loss, it throws me into a diet mentality where I starve myself.  This leads to a binge.  Yoyo dieting got me where I am today.  Thank God I have lost 68 pounds in the last 5 years.  Seems like a long time,  but if I hadn't found a twelve-step program I would probably weigh 68 pounds MORE than I did 5 years ago.